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I wrote about this phenomenon once; it’s defined as an intense, consuming grief with symptoms lasting for more than six months.

About 4 percent of the survey responders were deemed to have complicated grief.

There’s no way to sugarcoat it, so: On Tuesday morning my 17-month-old dog ran into a busy parkway, met a car, and died on impact. After a few hours, because this is what I do, I started looking up scientific research about losing a pet. Fear that something awful might happen to the new dog, too.

We took all of his stuffed animals and balls and bones and other crap down to the basement. We tried to get used to a too-quiet, too-clean apartment. Fear that the next dog will be a constant reminder of what happened.

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To the young girl, the spaniel was the sibling she never had; the breeder’s dog was the sympathetic husband she didn’t have; the 55-year-old’s poodle was the second child she had always wanted.

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We flipped through old text messages for the dozens of photos and videos of him we had sent to each other.

There were more studies than I expected (Pub Med produced 66 papers with search term “grieving pet”), and what the studies reported was more comforting than I expected. The new dog would never be the same: Even if the same breed, it would no doubt have a different personality, quirks, abilities. Fear of the inevitable day in the future when we would have to go through this hurt again. ✼ “Those who do insist on a special relationship with their dog or cat put themselves at risk from a mental health point of view,” wrote British psychiatrist Kenneth M. Keddie in one of the first studies about mourning for pets, published in 1977.

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